“There really is another dimension ... this is not make-believe, if you read the Bible.”

January 5, 2007 9:16 PM

Witches are fluroidating our water!This rambling rant about fluoride takes a turn for the seriously weird about 45 minutes in, when Dr. Stanley Monteith explains how AIDS was brought over from another dimension. In fact, as this text essay of his further explains, it was done by those Satan-worshippers in Planned Parenthood and their allies the Theosophists who have naked parties observed by UFO’s at the Georgia Guidestones, onto which are inscribed their plans to destroy most of humanity. Welcome to the wild world of Radio Liberty.
posted by kyrademon (56 comments total)

Ice cream, Mandrake. Children's ice cream.
posted by Flunkie at 9:20 PM on January 5, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
:: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
posted by danb at 9:21 PM on January 5, 2007

Heh.
posted by danb at 9:21 PM on January 5, 2007

What's this, there are crazy people on the internets?
Figures.
posted by fenriq at 9:28 PM on January 5, 2007

kyrademon: "...takes a turn for the seriously weird about 45 minutes in..."

Metafilter astounds me most when I think about the trouble people have to go to just to find some of the things we find interesting here.
posted by koeselitz at 9:32 PM on January 5, 2007

Sadly enough, I had to watch this video for my job, koeselitz.

And, yes, fenriq, I know that there's plenty of crazy out there, but ... witches? Seriously, witches and planned parenthood are behind water fluoridation? Because, you know, no one has more influence on the U.S. government than them.

It just struck me as particularly *crazy* crazy. Witches. And Fluoride.
posted by kyrademon at 9:36 PM on January 5, 2007

I had to watch this video for my job

What is your job, if you don't mind me asking?
posted by Flunkie at 9:38 PM on January 5, 2007

Thank you for reminding me of a local treasure that I really need to visit one of these days.
posted by grabbingsand at 9:41 PM on January 5, 2007

Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard the witches angle. I can't help but picture that bit from the Roald Dahl book: "My witches, you're going to go back to your homes... and flouridate the water!"
posted by koeselitz at 9:42 PM on January 5, 2007

Guess with the commies gone gotta blame someone. But seriously, this is what some of those new high powered meds are for.
posted by edgeways at 9:46 PM on January 5, 2007

It's like a game of Illuminati. "OK, the Gnomes of Zurich control the Boy Sprouts, who control the Secret Masters of Fandom. If I roll a six or better, I destroy the Fiendish Fluoridators. Take that, Discordian Society!"
posted by solid-one-love at 9:50 PM on January 5, 2007

the scary part is that there are people who actually believe this crap.
posted by smoothvirus at 9:52 PM on January 5, 2007

So, if all of these things are true, why is the US public health service promoting water fluoridation?

Well, of course there's one explanation. And that is that the atomic energy needed to enrich uranium -- after all, we had to win the Second World War -- and they had to lie to the American people that the industrials, industries, in America faced tremendous losses, and so we had to change the perception of fluoride: we had to make this industrial poison be a panacea; we had to change the perception of the problem.

What?
posted by Flunkie at 9:55 PM on January 5, 2007

Flunkie, don't try to make sense of it. That way lies madness.
posted by danb at 10:06 PM on January 5, 2007

I also want to know what kyrademon does for a living. That mystery is as interesting than the original post.
posted by oflinkey at 10:07 PM on January 5, 2007

Flunkie, I have a part-time day job which is, roughly speaking, reporting on theories and developments in alternative medicine. It means a lot of non-mainstream stuff gets sent my way.

A few days ago a reader made a comment about chemtrails and sylphs, and I've been idly wondering how long it will take before I am required to write a serious and scholarly-sounding essay about them.
posted by kyrademon at 10:14 PM on January 5, 2007

I also want to know what kyrademon does for a living? works in a psych ward?
posted by Mr_Zero at 10:14 PM on January 5, 2007

Flunkie, my American Politics professor had the exact same way of speaking. Impossible to follow. Granted, this guy seems to be a grade A nutjob, but still.

This is great stuff.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:16 PM on January 5, 2007

On preview - Darn it, I knew I should have just kept mum about my job and maintained an aura of dark mystery instead.

I will say that the wilder stuff I encounter is a source of constant entertainment to my friends.
posted by kyrademon at 10:18 PM on January 5, 2007

Whoa. Standing ovation.
posted by Flunkie at 10:23 PM on January 5, 2007

Flunkie, I think that may refer to the use of fluorine in the uranium enrichment process. Uranium is generally mined, refined, fluorinated, transported as UF₆, and then converted to UO₂ during fuel rod assembly. So, for every mole of uranium, they capture and liberate six moles of fluorine. I suppose it's possible that some of the fluorine ends up in tap water, but I don't know nor think it cause for concern.
posted by owhydididoit at 10:25 PM on January 5, 2007

So, um, what do these people drink?

Is bottled water non-fluoridated?

Or maybe they buy houses with their own wells?

Or are there defluoridation methods that your typical average everyday Joe can perform?
posted by Flunkie at 10:26 PM on January 5, 2007

Distillation, maybe. Though, if you have a still, you'd be better off distilling something tastier.
posted by IronLizard at 10:52 PM on January 5, 2007

Seriously, fluoride is bad for you. And the kind of fluoride that is put into most municipalities water supplies is not regulated for purity - it's whatever sludge Alcoa puts into a truck with a logo of a shiny happy molar on the side.

Personally, I only drink pure rain water or grain alcohol.
posted by Sukiari at 10:53 PM on January 5, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Actually, many people in the anti-fluoridation movement tend not to like distilled water, because they think distillation changes the structure of water in harmful ways. Although apparently it's OK if you distill the water to get rid of the fluoride, then put it in a clear glass container, add a few minerals, and leave it out in the sunshine for a day.

Reverse osmosis filtration or activated alumina defluoridation filtration seems to be what is recommended, using stuff way more powerful than a regular water filter ... the kind of thing that costs multiple hundreds of dollars to install, although I've heard you can also make your own out of a kit for cheaper.

I don't know if you still need to add minerals and let it sunbathe after filtration, though.
posted by kyrademon at 11:07 PM on January 5, 2007

Looks like I'm going to have to deny some of you folks my essence.

Seriously the history of fluoride in America is some crazy shit, it's always been the classic wingnut hobbyhorse, but there are some very real and bizzare aspects of the story that are entirely real. It's like the Kennedy assassination in that there are enough strange things going on to cause nutters to really have something to obsess about. Keep watching the skies!111!!!
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:08 PM on January 5, 2007

I don't understand why they stopped at fluoride. Why not put cortizone in the drinking water to prevent itching? And how about Tylenol, so people don't get so darn many headaches? And why should kids line up to get flu shots, lets put vaccines in the water supply too! In fact, let's just pour all the medicines we know about in the water supply and that way we cure everybody of everything!

And while we're at it, let's put money in the water supply to fight poverty! And ground-up books, to fight ignorance!
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:47 PM on January 5, 2007

You wouldn't happen to have a newsletter that one could subscribe to, would you?
posted by bob sarabia at 11:50 PM on January 5, 2007

Well sure it sounds crazy if you just say it like that - Witches poisoning us with fluoride and conspiring with the Satanic people at planned parenthood and the UFOs to destroy humanity. But if you follow the money it all comes together. This ludicrous juxtaposition is done on purpose. Anyone stumbling upon the truth will immediately reject it as crazy. Just as folks have here. This lets them carry out their plans in plain sight.
posted by Devidicus at 11:55 PM on January 5, 2007

No way man I have a blog dood get with the program
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:55 PM on January 5, 2007

Once again my impulses to re-read The Illuminatus Trilogy synchro-taneously creeps dangerously close to the beardos of my favorite community blog.

Radio Liberty is obviously another mask of the Illuminati, just like every other weirdo that feels the need to broadcast his oddness on such a scale.

WAKE UP, PEOPLE.

p.s. i too drink distilled water only. I will neither confirm nor deny that I am a witch.
posted by phylum sinter at 11:56 PM on January 5, 2007

There are plenty of industrial applications for fluorine, just ask DuPont or Dow. Is there some evidence somewhere that uranium production creates such a glut that there's nothing for it but to dump it in municipal drinking supplies? Seems like if "they" needed to dump it, they'd rather dump it in some out-of-the-way place, say, the North Slope, or Micronesia. Less explaining that way.

Preventing dental caries has a beneficial effect on quality-of-life and lifespan. Sure, fluorine is nasty stuff, but that's diatomic fluorine, or hydrofluoric acid. Most flourine compounds are exceedingly stable, and not terribly bioactive. What's special about tooth enamel is all that exposed calcium, which fluorine adores. Enamel is so hard in part because it has calcium fluoride in it.

Obviously, there is room for debate about the desirability of fluoridated water, and there are other ways to fight tooth decay. What's utterly loony is the idea that witches are somehow responsible. I can't think of anyone less likely than witches to approve of adding industrial by-products to public drinking water.
posted by owhydididoit at 12:26 AM on January 6, 2007

I was going to say you forgot the batshitinsane tag but then I actually looked. Well-played, sir.
posted by basicchannel at 12:35 AM on January 6, 2007

Never mind the Fluorine, I'm more concerned about the Stupid they've been adding to the water.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:47 AM on January 6, 2007

Dr. Stanley Monteith goes home every evening, sheds his human skin and breathes dryer lint.
posted by deusdiabolus at 3:56 AM on January 6, 2007

Oh by the way, the fluoride? It's a communist plot.
posted by deusdiabolus at 3:58 AM on January 6, 2007

George_Spiggott : "I don't understand why they stopped at fluoride. Why not put cortizone in the drinking water to prevent itching? And how about Tylenol, so people don't get so darn many headaches?"

Or folic acid in cereal just in case pregnant women aren't taking enough?
Oh, wait, they do that.
posted by Bugbread at 5:00 AM on January 6, 2007

I love my fluoridosis. I've never had a cavity, which is not something a lot of my friends growing up with non-fluoridated water can say.
posted by Eideteker at 5:10 AM on January 6, 2007

So as not to be a derail, what I meant to say was: HOORAY FOR WITCHES!
posted by Eideteker at 5:10 AM on January 6, 2007

I will neither confirm nor deny that I am a witch glass of distilled water left outside in the sun.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:32 AM on January 6, 2007

Theosophists who have naked parties

Why wasn't I invited??

Oh, that's okay, I have nothing to wear anyway.
posted by jonmc at 6:59 AM on January 6, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Hmmm...maybe the Flouride does something to the water so that when concerned citizens throw suspected witches into it, they sink, or float, or whatever it is proves you aren't a witch.

That said, I know for sure that Granny Weatherwax has never attended a naked party.
posted by Biblio at 7:57 AM on January 6, 2007

I love my fluoridosis. I've never had a cavity, which is not something a lot of my friends growing up with non-fluoridated water can say.

Your friends can't say that you've never had a cavity? Are most of your friends not Anglophone?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:35 AM on January 6, 2007

Woah, bugbread, so they're putting cereal in your municipal water supply? Those bastards!
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:45 AM on January 6, 2007

Biblio : That said, I know for sure that Granny Weatherwax has never attended a naked party.

True that. But Magrat Garlick probably did. Seems like it would have been her kind of thing.
posted by quin at 10:07 AM on January 6, 2007

Actually, I've always thought flouride was put in the water so we could all be turned into a zombie slave army for "when the time comes".
posted by fenriq at 11:14 AM on January 6, 2007

Obviously witches are not involved in a fluoride conspiracy. Everyone knows witches have horrible teeth. It's part of the boffo.

/Up-to-date Pratchett fans will know what I mean with that last reference
posted by Zinger at 11:29 AM on January 6, 2007

George_Spiggott : "Woah, bugbread, so they're putting cereal in your municipal water supply? Those bastards!"

No, the cereal comes premixed in when I open the milk tap.
posted by Bugbread at 12:48 PM on January 6, 2007

I'm afraid that Radio Liberty might be too easily confused with Radio Free Liberty, my dad's Libertarian podcast. He's not quite as crazy as that guy.
posted by Saellys at 1:26 PM on January 6, 2007

Old news, really. Turn on a shortwave radio, you're liable to be drowned in this kinda stuff at almost any time of day.
posted by mykescipark at 1:55 PM on January 6, 2007

bugbread: No, the cereal comes premixed in when I open the milk tap.

bugbread, you live in Japan, right? So I can actually almost believe that you really do have a milk tap and that the cereal really does come premixed.

I grew up drinking rainwater, but my parents were obviously witches because they gave us flouride tablets to 'strengthen our teeth'. So far their witchcraft has kept my teeth cavity-free, so it must be an effective form of witchcraft.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 3:24 PM on January 6, 2007

A Thousand Baited Hooks : "So I can actually almost believe that you really do have a milk tap and that the cereal really does come premixed."

Heehee. No, I wish. There are only about 8 or 9 cereals in all Japan: a few granola/meuslix cereals, Special K, Corn Flakes, and three or four sweetened cereals. That's it. No Cheerios, no Rice Krispies, nothin', let alone multiple flavours of Cheerios, Rice Krispies, or the like. You could fit a box of every type of cereal that is sold in this country on one shelf in your kitchen cabinet, with plenty of room left over.

(Actually, that's one of the first things I did when I went back to the US for Christmas vacation: buy cereal)
posted by Bugbread at 4:20 PM on January 6, 2007

I also grew up drinking natural water, and my mother did give me floride drops. I've never had a cavity, nor have I broken a bone. And I sink like a rock if we stop dogpaddling when I'm swimming. I also chew ice cubes and break bricks with my elbows.

It is, however, a little annoying that I can never get a good night's sleep, what with the glowing.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:48 PM on January 6, 2007

Gah, people, people, fluoride is what you get when you remove an electron from a fluorine atom.

Flourine is probably what you get when you remove an electron from a particle of flour, but I couldn't find it in my IUPAC nomenclature guide.

I do envy you fluorotics: I have several polymer fillings and one gold/ceramic onlay. A friend who got the whole gel/drops/etc. treatments has never had a cavity in his life. Jerk.
posted by oats at 5:51 PM on January 7, 2007

oats, if it makes you feel better - I got the whole 9 yards of fluoride treatments and a mouth full of fillings. Though the latter may have been caused by eating witches.
posted by GuyZero at 7:21 PM on January 7, 2007

oats, what happens to that electron that is removed? What do the witches use that for? Altering mammogram machines to create more witches?
posted by QIbHom at 10:57 PM on January 7, 2007